TITLE: Five Times Derek Reese
Fucked Sarah Connor. And One Time He Didn’t
FANDOM: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
RATING: Multiple, but Adult to be safe
SPOILERS: Everything from the first season.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em. Don't know who does.
PAIRINGS: Sarah Connor/Derek Reese
TIMELINE: Various, mostly set
in the months after the season 1 finale.
She’d run the
motherfucker to ground, which was no
mean feat considering he was probably seventeen – and probably part
gazelle – and she was, well, older. Her chest felt like it was going to
explode and when she finally cornered the punk in the dead end alley,
she thought she had him. Then she reached for her gun.
going to fucking murder Derek. Because she always kept a spare piece in
her purse. It was the only reason she ever carried the damn thing. The
backup piece was the whole reason she hadn’t gone back for her primary
weapon when she dropped it hurdling the trashcans five blocks ago. But
she reached for it and …
hesitation was just long
enough and the kid jumped the chain link fence and was gone. And there
went their last lead on Sarkissian’s whereabouts.
She stood in
the alley, chest heaving, considering all the ways she was going to
torture Derek. She didn’t give a shit if he took her toothbrush or he
forgot to put the toilet seat down. She didn’t even care if he drank
out of the milk carton. But the next time he touched her fucking guns,
she was going to cut off his fingers.
put on her best fake smile as she tried to feign interest in Kimmy
Sanders’ sales pitch. Kimmy’s son, Brandon, was in the chess club with
John. Sarah knew she made a mistake when she told John he could sign
up. But she’d felt so guilty about ripping him out of his last school,
she allowed herself to be manipulated. And now here she was, forced to
play nice with other parents. And even worse, forced to pretend Derek
Reese was her husband – and John's father.
simple,” Kimmy assured her. “If you have a few free minutes tomorrow,
I’d love to drop by and talk to you about it.”
paled. The last thing she wanted was this woman trying to anoint her
into the cult of cosmetic sales. “I don’t know,” Sarah said with a
frown. “Derek is adamant that he doesn’t want me working.” She leaned
in conspiratorially. “He’s very old fashioned in some ways.”
doubt cueing on his name, Derek appeared out of nowhere and draped a
possessive arm around Sarah’s shoulders. He was even less excited than
Sarah that he was forced to pretend to be the devoted husband and
father – and he took it out on her in any way he could.
“What are you
two talking about, dear?” he asked
pointedly, fixing Sarah with a rather disturbing smile.
her arm around his back, her thumb expertly found the barely healed
knife wound he received several weeks earlier – and dug in. His breath
hitched, but he managed to keep his smile firmly in tact.
was just telling Kimmy how you don’t like me working,” Sarah said,
careful to keep her tone light, but narrowing her eyes at him just
enough for him to understand the menace.
several degrees and he did a fabulous job of ignoring what had to have
been the rather excruciating pain Sarah was inflicting. “Sarah,” he
said sweetly, “you know I only want you to be happy. I think you should
definitely invite Kimmy over tomorrow.”
Sarah turned to
Kimmy, smiling brightly, as she did her best to tear a chunk out of
didn’t try to evade the punch. He stood there and took it like a man,
stumbling backwards until he hit the wall. He looked at her and
gingerly rubbed his jaw.
“You lied to me,
you son of a bitch!” Sarah raged.
“I told you,
Reese. I told you to stay away.”
He looked at
her, silent. Cocking his head to the side, he asked, “You think that’s
going to do it?”
nice. Being polite. You think the metal gives a fuck if they break a
few rules?” He stepped closer, angry now. “I don’t think you want it.”
stop it,” he yelled. “I lived through the apocalypse, Sarah. I don’t
give a shit if you think humanity deserved it or not. I can tell you
that Kyle and I sure as shit didn’t deserve to be orphaned, to spend
our lives hiding in tunnels and fighting the machines.”
She shakes her
head, paling. “I didn’t mean – “
“The fuck you
didn’t,” Derek snarled. “It’s still this thing to you. A concept.
It’s not a fucking concept to me. It’s my life. And my brother’s life.
And I will fight with every thing that I have to prevent that from
happening again. And if murdering one worthless son of a bitch will
help at all, I’ll do it in a heartbeat.”
Sarah stared at
several heartbeats. “He wasn’t a worthless son of a bitch,” she said
evenly. “He was an Army General with direct oversight of the military
computer systems integration.”
“I know,” Derek
stared at him, shaking her head, more in sadness than disgust. “He was
with his family. You didn’t just murder him. You murdered two of his
“I don’t care.”
“I know,” she
said sadly. “But if you use tactics like this to save humanity, you’re
no better than the machines.”
didn’t flinch, but Sarah knew her words hit home. She turned, walking
toward the back of the apartment, to the bedrooms. She stopped in the
threshold, turning her head back toward him, but not looking at him. “I
have to tell John,” she said.
reply was barely audible.
“He’s going to
know you got the address from his notebook.”
waited for a reply, but it didn’t come. She turned back, staring
blindly down the hall, toward the room where John and Cameron were busy
hacking into a startup software company’s personnel records. “He liked
her,” she said softly.
looking directly at him. “There’s a reason the John Connor you know is
such a fuck.”
stickshift dug into her thigh, but she didn’t care. She twisted,
kicking off her boot, helping him pull at her jeans. It was a struggle.
The Jeep was built for utility, not comfort. He didn’t say anything and
that shocked her. She expected him to be as irreverent and off-kilter
while fucking as he was while doing everything else. She expected him
to be lewd and playful and a jerk. But he wasn’t.
There was a
single-mindedness to his actions. The concentration she only ever saw
him give a weapon. And now it was trained on her. It was flattering and
empowering and creepy as hell.
managed to free
one of her legs from the jeans and then she pulled at the fly of his
pants as he lifted his hips off the seat just long enough to drag the
material down his thighs.
She took his
cock in her hand,
stroking. Once. Twice. And then she sank down on him, biting her bottom
lip to keep from gasping at the sensation. She couldn’t remember the
last time she wanted to fuck anyone this badly. Sex was always a tool.
In her life, her own desires have rarely mattered.
He arched up
even as his fingers bit into her hips, slamming her down against him. Fuck. He was so hard and
so big and she didn’t know if it was the fact that he was the one
person who truly got it,
or because she hated his guts, or because she loved his brother.
Regardless, she was certain nothing ever felt as good as Derek Reese.
rode him hard and fast. His hand cupped her breast, hard. He pulled
away, snaking the same hand under her shirt, under her bra and rolling
one of her pebbled nipples between his fingers. Her breath caught and
she gasped, tightening around him. Too soon, he popped like warm
champaign, hissing between his teeth as he trembled.
pulled away from him, blindly opening the door, half falling, half
jumping out of the Jeep, mindless with the need to get away from him.
She was unsatisfied, still achy and tense and horny as hell. She
ignored him hoarsely calling her name, hop-stumbling toward the house,
shoving her leg back into her jeans.
Oh, Jesus. What
did she just do?
brow furrowed and she looked up at the clerk. “I thought Diva Mehta was
the director of the division,” she said, repeating the name she
memorized from the safehouse list.
“She was,” the
the desk said. She was young, probably working her way through school,
bored to tears manning the front desk at the prospering software
company. “But Diva started getting all freaky. Said people were
following her. Now she doesn’t come in the office.”
There was a
sinking feeling in the pit of Sarah’s stomach. Yet another of Derek’s
team had been made by their target. Dammit. Right now, Mehta had the
best odds for being the one to design the bulk of Skynet’s base
programming. If one of Derek’s team had scared her off, they might have
just destroyed their best chance for averting judgment day. “Really?
Never in the office?”
girl confirmed, shaking her head. “She works remotely.” She snorted. “I
wish I could do that.”
“Do you know
where she lives?” Sarah asked. It wasn’t subtle, but at this point, she
didn’t have a lot of options.
“Yeah,” the girl
One Time He Didn’t.
"I thought you
might want this," Ellison says, holding the tape out to Sarah.
stares at it, blinking quickly. Her vision shifts to Ellison's face. He
has a good face, a trustworthy face. She doesn't know how or why, but
she believes he believes her. Too bad for him. Now he's a target too.
The collateral damage is already making a shambles out of his life. His
house was the most recent loss. Luckily, they got him out before the
entire place blew. But most of his files, most of his notes and – Sarah
acknowledges – the most comprehensive timeline of her life that ever
existed – on grid and off - are gone. Sarah enjoys the irony. If Skynet
had taken his files rather than destroying them, they would have been
way ahead of the game. Their loss.
She stares at
the tape, the
one she noticed earlier. The one Ellison obviously noticed her
noticing. He's a damn good agent, she'll give him that. And a fairly
decent human being to boot. He must have grabbed the tape along with
the armful of other files he managed to scoop up.
reluctantly, she takes the tape. "Thanks," she says softly.
nods and then looks to his car, parked next to their SUV in front of
the abandoned gas station. "Now if you don't mind," he says, "I’m
getting the hell away from you people. No offense, but you're like a
self propelled biblical plague."
Sarah snorts a
laugh. How true. She looks him in the eye, holding his gaze. "Be
He nods. "I
later, they're all crammed into the run down little motel. Two double
beds (cozy, but not a problem, Cameron doesn't sleep and neither does
Derek), a small kitchenette, an ancient TV and VCR. Sarah doesn't let
herself consider how similar it is to the place she hid with Kyle.
looks pointedly at the tape, sitting on the counter. He’s perched on
the end of one of the beds, filled with nervous energy. “So … uh?" he
says, motioning to the tape.
pushes herself off
the end of the bed and takes the tape. Derek stretches out, leaning
back against the headboard of the unoccupied bed, getting dirt on the
bedspread from his boots. Cameron sits on the other bed, next to John,
intently watching and listening to everything. "What's on the tape?"
"Then why are -
" she starts.
up," John replies harshly, cutting Cameron off. It's unlike John to be
so brusque, even with the machine and Sarah is reminded yet again how
much this means not only to her, but to her son as well.
terminator falls silent, but carefully watches as Sarah turns on the
VCR and inserts the tape. It starts playing and the first few seconds
are static, then a disclaimer stating that the tape is property of the
West Highland Police Department. Sarah doesn’t know how the hell
Ellison managed to find a copy of this, but she’s impressed. Turning,
she walks back to the bed, sitting down stiffly. She leans back against
the headboard next to Derek.
He glances over
at her, but she
doesn't meet his gaze. Derek knows in the vaguest of terms what the
tape contains. So does John. Sarah, for better or worse, knows exactly
what it contains. There's a part of her that doesn't want to see this.
Not because she doesn't want to look at it. She does want to look at
it. She's dying to look at it. But there's a part of her that doesn't
want to share the tape's contents with the others. There's part of her
that wants to leave this in her memory. But then she glances at her son
and she knows how much he needs to see.
"You seen this?"
watching John staring so intensely at the TV. "Once."
disclaimer fades and there's a blip of static before the action starts.
It's already well into the interrogation. Kyle is seated at the table,
hands cuffed behind his back, wearing his dirty, ill fitting striped
t-shirt. Jesus, she forgot about that shirt. She forgot how much she
hated it. He's leaning forward to compensate for the awkward position
of his arms, face angled up so he can glare at Silberman.
can't breathe. She has lived with Kyle's face in her memory for what
feels like a lifetime – and for what has been John's lifetime. But to
see him, to actually see him, is joyous and heartbreaking and
disconcerting. To hear his voice, his irritated, impatiently clipped
words. She has a pang of regret at allowing John to see this tape. This
is Kyle. Absolutely. But this Kyle, wound so tightly, isn't the Kyle
who lives in her heart and memories.
forward and next
to her, Derek does the same thing. She glances over at him, watching
his eyes trained tightly on the television screen. In a split second,
she wonders what it must be like for him. From his perspective, he left
his brother a few months ago. He has only recently grieved his death.
But for Sarah, this tape is a relic from a previous life.
watch, all of them, enraptured. They watch as Silberman baits Kyle, as
Kyle earnestly and laboriously tries to explain the situation to a
clearly condescending and disbelieving audience. And then Kyle snaps.
He stands up, staring straight at the camera, yelling about the horrors
awaiting her, the relentless, inevitable future.
But unlike the
previous time she saw this tape, there is no kindly detective to
suggest they've seen enough. It continues to play and the officers
roughly subdue Kyle, pinning him face down to the table before he's
finally led from the room struggling and yelling and the tape turns
once again to static.
They all sit
there, listening to the
static. John looks back over his shoulder at her, his eyes shiny. "I
need a walk," he says. As he stands up and walks to the door, Cameron
follows him out into the late afternoon.
They sit in
a few minutes before Derek finally gets up and turn off the TV and VCR.
Sarah looks up and he's holding a bottle out to her. Bourbon. She
fucking hates bourbon. She takes the bottle and quickly swallows a
mouthful of liquid fire. Coughing, she hands the bottle back to Derek,
wiping her mouth with the back of her free hand.
sun sinks below the horizon. The door is still cracked open a bit from
where Cameron neglected to close it. Sarah doesn't know how long John
will be gone, but she suspects it will be a while. She doesn't know if
it's just because he's a teenager or if he truly is a brooding soul,
but her son needs a great deal of alone time to process information.
With something like this, she wouldn't be shocked if he was out all
Inside the room,
it gets dimmer and dimmer and before
long, the only light is from the giant fluorescent lights illuminating
the parking lot. It's cool now, but Sarah doesn't want to find a
jacket. She wraps her arms around herself, using her hands to rub her
arms in a vain attempt to create enough friction to warm her.
reaches out, pressing a hand to her back and she jumps, twisting around
to look at him. He holds his arms open in invitation. She squares her
jaw, narrowing her eyes.
“Look, I’m not
trying to nail you. Just come here.”
once, she believes him and allows him to pull her close. She’s still
cold, freezing actually and she can’t help but think to the night she
spent huddled in the cold with Kyle, attempting to share body heat,
dressing a gunshot wound, learning about her future. But for all its
similarities, this scenario is far different. Derek isn’t Kyle. And she
isn’t that girl.
“He was a man,”
Derek says quietly, almost wistfully.
looks at him from only inches away.
“He’ll always be my baby brother. But on that tape, that wasn’t my kid
brother. That was a soldier.”
was John’s father,” Sarah says. It’s both the literal truth and a huge
horrible fucking metaphor. Kyle was the strong one, not her. His faith
in her, his certainty in her strength was what buoyed her so
effectively through the rough waters. He’s the one who instilled in her
a sense of urgency, the need to be prepared, the absolute importance of
never giving up. He’s the one who built the legend of John Connor
within her which allowed her to mold her son into that form. Without
Kyle, none of it worked.
She can feel
Derek staring at her and
she moves closer, relishing the warmth from his body. “You can’t see it
on the tape,” she says, “but his hand was bandaged.” She laughs
mirthlessly. “I thought he was trying to kill me. I bit the shit out of
Derek gives her
a small smile. “I can only imagine. He’s lucky that’s all you did.”
shakes her head, laughing softly. “I wasn’t like this back then. I was
green. Goddamn, I was so green. I was going to junior college. I wanted
to be a …” She trails off, giving Derek a wry look. “Nevermind.”
“No,” he says
softly, “finish. What did you want to be?”
cocks an eyebrow and shrugs in self-deprecation. “I wanted to be a vet
tech.” She looks at him, reading his confusion. “Veterinary technician.
I wanted to work at an animal hospital.”
furrows. “Like on cats and dogs and shit?”
She nods. “Yeah.
Cats and dogs and shit.”
awful … cuddly for you?” he baits.
She shoves him
playfully. “I already told you I was green.” Her expression turns
harder. “And soft. And so damn stupid.”
sit there for a while and Sarah stews in her own jumble of emotions,
mourning for her lost self, mourning for Kyle, trying to reconcile the
two different people she’s been in her life.
“How’d Kyle find
you?” he asks, pulling her from her thoughts.
went after me at a nightclub. Kyle was there with a shotgun. Didn’t
kill it, of course, but stunned it enough to get away.”
“And you bit
him?” Derek asks with a small smile.
thereafter,” Sarah confirms with a matching smile. “I thought he was
going to kill me.” She looks at him. “Your brother wasn’t the most
eloquent communicator to ever live.”
grinning broadly. “Kyle never could talk to girls worth a damn.”
smiling. “Their loss.”
her closely and his smile fades. “Did you love him?”
staring at her feet. “I did.”
“Do you miss
She nods again,
still looking at her feet. “Every day.”
“Me too,” he
turns and meets his gaze and they just sit there for a while. Sarah
realizes she isn’t cold anymore. She knows they’ve finally found their
truce. She and Derek. Maybe now they can stop arguing about every
goddamn thing under the sun. Neither of them moves and she’s so aware
of his body pressed against hers. She knows he is too.
mirthlessly and she can feel it more than hear it.
“Roll over,” he
She stares at
“Just do it.”
“Because I want
She opens her
mouth and he cuts her off. “Just do it, dammit.”
bewildered, she relents, rolling away from him onto her side. He curls
up against her back, pulling her close.
And much to her
shock it’s … nice.
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